Can you sand maple fretboard?
For the fretboard itself, you can sand it if you really want to but I've never seen the point Your fingers shouldn't really be touching the fretboard anyway so it won't make much difference there. And don't use water.
Can you darken maple fretboard?
Tung oil, teak oil, Danish oil, all will darken your maple a little and give keep it from drying out too.
Can you paint a maple fretboard?
If it's Maple, you'd probably need to strop the clearcoat, apply a thin coat of primer so that the acrylic colorcoat can adhere properly. For clear, I'd use Polycrylic, pretty tough.